Today I want to share with you a key that you can use in your day-to-day life for letting go.
We all want to find the key to letting go.
After all, it is one of the most important parts of healing.
But most of us get stuck when it comes to letting go.
We get stuck because we are missing a puzzle piece.
And that puzzle piece is the positive intention.
The only reason that we would do anything in life is because we think that it would make us feel better to do that thing.
A better way of saying this, is that the only reason we do anything is because we think that it somehow serves us.
We only do things because we think that it will make us feel better.
So we can call this reasoning, "the buried positive intention".
And often these intentions are buried so deep in us that we have no conscious awareness of it.
But our ability to let go and to heal in our lives depends upon on our ability to look for those buried positive intentions and to be honest with ourselves about them.
Our ability to live in a conscious and compassionate way towards other people depends on our ability to go
searching for, and be honest about, the buried positive intentions which exist within in them.
We can take this concept of the buried positive intention even further and apply it to the understanding that we create our own realities in its entirety.
When you experience something where you feel like you are a victim, such as getting cancer, or getting in a car accident,
And even though you feel like a victim, you have, either consciously, or more often subconsciously, lined up with that experience and thus created it by default.
So even the things which you feel a victim to are actually things of your own creation. It is one of the most difficult things to accept about the universe, but it is true.
And even these things, where we feel as if we are the victim, where we feel as if we did not create it, we actually did create for a positive intention.
We create everything in our realities because it will serve us.
You may not have conscious awareness of this in your temporary individual life, from your human perspective. But the only reason anything is currently or ever was in your life at all....
It is because of a buried positive intention.
The first question we need to ask ourselves relative to anything that we are struggling with is:
How is _________ (fill in the blank) positively serving me?
For example, how is getting sick positively serving me?
Sit with the question and allow the answer to surface.
The answer may be something like... if I am sick then other people will pay attention to me, and so I will feel loved.
The second question is:
What is the positive intention I have for _______ (fill in the blank)?
For example, what is the positive intention that I have for being sick?
The answer might be that I am trying to feel loved.
The positive intention may be different for two people who are experiencing the same negative circumstance.
But for the sake of understanding the idea that there are positive intentions behind everything, here is a list of potential positive intentions:
1. I got fired
My positive intention behind getting fired is that I actually hated my job, and I wanted an excuse to have to start my own business.
So the positive intention is: I want to start my own business.
2. I have the belief that I hate traveling.
My positive intention behind having that belief is that I will decide to stay home where I feel in control of my environment and feel safe.
So my positive intention is to stay safe.
3. I doubt myself.
My positive intention behind doubting myself is that it will prevent me from making a decision, so I can't be held accountable for making the wrong decision.
So my positive intention is to avoid shame and maintain external approval from other people.
4. I beat someone up.
My positive intention behind beating someone up is that I felt a sense of power as opposed to powerlessness when I did it.
So my positive intention was the desire to feel empowerment.
5. I lose my temper.
My positive intention behind losing my temper is that when I get angry, everyone suddenly shuts up and listens, and I suddenly feel control over them.
Having control over them makes me feel as if I control my world, and that gives me a sense of inner calm and peace.
So my positive intention is to feel a sense of inner calm and peace.
6. I relapsed and drank alcohol again even though I am part of the 12 Step Program.
My positive intention for relapsing is that I started to get scared that other people would expect me to take care of myself if I am recovered, and I don't feel capable of that.
So my positive intention was to feel the support of other people.
7. I cheated on my wife.
I started to feel as if I was taken for granted. The other woman made me feel as if I was important and wanted.
So my positive intention for cheating on my wife was to feel a sense of significance, to feel wanted and loved.
8. I have Multiple Sclerosis.
I was feeling overwhelmed with all the pressure that was placed on me at home.
I did not feel good about asking for help from my husband who expected me to fulfill my duties as a wife, mother, and homemaker.
By getting sick, I had an excuse for why he had to help me.
So my positive intention for having MS is to avoid having to do things that I don't want to do, and to feel my husband participate in our life together and support me.
9. I am fat.
Being fat allows me to feel warm and hidden, and feeling warm and hidden makes me feel not so exposed, and therefore safe.
So my positive intention for being fat is to feel safe.
10. I lie
My positive intention for lying is to seem more impressive to other people because I do not feel as if the truth of who I am is good enough.
So my positive intention for lying is to feel as if I am good enough and to get approval from other people.
11. I killed someone.
I usually feel separate from people and separate from connection. When I killed them, it felt as if I owned them, and as if I was suddenly significant in their lives.
And that is the closest that I have ever felt to human connection.
So my positive intention for killing someone was to feel a sense of human connection.
We can always discover higher and higher levels of positive intention as well.
For example, if we find that our hidden positive intention is to gain approval, we can ask ourselves, "What is my positive intention for gaining approval?"
And the answer may be, "To feel loved".
Then we can ask ourselves, "What is my positive intention for feeling loved?"
The answer may be, "To feel at one with other people, and therefore the Universe."
There is a positive purpose and function for everything in our lives.
Everything in our lives serves us in some way.
It is these hidden positive intentions which bind us to the things that we can't heal from.
It is the hidden positive intentions which bind us to the things that we can't let go of and that we can't get over
and the things we perpetually keep doing even though we know it hurts us in some way.
We are missing the fact that it is actually serving us as well, and that's the real reason that we can't let go of it.
If we are brave enough to find the hidden positive intention within the rubble of the things we are struggling with, we can unhook the anchors that tie us to them.
All of our positive intentions point to our most basic needs.
So if we are able to find what need we are trying to fulfill through these hidden positive intentions,
then we have access to healing because we can find different ways to fulfill those needs, healthy ways to fulfill those needs.
Not ways that are both healthy and detrimental.
There will be no need to perpetuate negative situations in order to fulfill our needs if we are fulfilling them in healthy ways, alternative ways.
When we are brave enough to find these hidden positive intentions, then we have the key to letting go, we have the key to healing.
We can find the tenderness that is present within the heart of every being. You will live a life of pure compassion.
It is difficult to see an aspect of fear relative to something which originates from a positive intention.
It's easier to see that we are all scared children running around trying to fulfill our most basic needs, when we can find the buried positive intention.
So if you are able to be honest about these positive intentions, rather than just writing things off as causing you pain,
then you can live in this world free from suffering, you can unhook yourself from your pain.
We lose this opportunity every time we say,
"No, no, no, that's not benefitting me in any way. This is just completely ruining my life. This is totally detrimental."
We lose the opportunity to let go of that thing because we are unwilling to search for the hidden positive intention for why we have created it in the first place,
for why we may be perpetuating that thing.
So try to look for these hidden positive intentions in your own life.
I promise you it will help you to let everything that you are struggling with, and everything that no longer serves you, go.
Have a good week. :)